i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
