So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think your dad took our porno
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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