We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
