well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
