Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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