Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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