I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
