I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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