I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
