Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
