You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
