Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
