Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I wear drunk well.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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