Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she pinky promised me she was 18
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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