He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
