Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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