did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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