i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
