i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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