he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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