I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
