went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
