Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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