I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
