Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
