Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
