I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
