he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
