her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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