distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
