pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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