Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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