problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
