IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
