why didn't you poke me back
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
