Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
