Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
