Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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