Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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