sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
