Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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