Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
