saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
