you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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