oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
