We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
