the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
