how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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