ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
