All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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