Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
