Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
