Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
