If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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